Hi Reader,

Happy Thursday :)

As we reach the end of May, do you notice any themes that dominated the past 5 months of your life? What areas of your life have taken up a lot of attention? Hit reply and let me know.

For me, the themes that come up are the following: Living a life of balance, Learning to be a beginner again, Strengthening relationships with inner circle.

And in line with that question, today’s newsletter has a heavy theme of introspection and retrospection.

Let’s begin!

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CM Long Reads

[Article] The Balance-Intentionality Framework: (8 min) Something important happened on March 15th, 2022 in my life. I woke up at 6:40 AM, brushed my teeth, took bath, and sat down for my morning meditation. I'm no stranger to thoughts intruding my meditation sessions, but on that day, one thought stood out from the rest. It stood out because that thought set off a domino effect that has now resulted in me working on a book on the idea of Escaping Autopilot. What was that thought? It comprised of a single word. Balance. As I began thinking about the idea of balance intensely, I came up with a framework - The Balance Intentionality Framework.

[Video] The Problem With "University Rankings" & Chinese Student Crisis: (20 min) Here's a little known fact: the number of Chinese students who enter the United States for higher education has more than tripled since 2008, in just 14 years. And this is no coincidence. In this video, the creator brilliantly explains how this increase in number is deeply connected to university rankings, and a system in which everybody loses (students, teachers, most universities) except for the 1% who win.

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CM Short Bites

[Short Note] The Mundanity of Excellence: (5 min) How much does talent matter in achieving excellence? Does working harder lead to better results? And what is excellence, really? All these questions are answered in this short note that I took based on a long paper I read on The Mundanity of Excellence. Although the paper was written in 1989, it couldn't be more relevant today, in a culture filled with people suffering from imposter syndrome and the misguided idea that whatever I do is not good enough.

[Short Note] Mimetic Desires & Myths: (4 min) I fell into the rabbit hole of mimetic desires and René Girard this week, and feel like I'd be hanging out here for a while given how relevant this topic seems today. Mimetic desires refer to the idea that our deepest desires are collective, and not individual. Jon wants a Tesla probably not because he truly thinks spending $50,000 on a car is going to improve his life; rather because three of his friends already have it and he feels left out. We're all victims of mimetic desires, including you and me. This is a short note on the original theory and its implications.

[Music Playlist] Music for Mushrooms 5-Hour Playlist: Would you believe me if I told you I listen to this 5-hour long playlist almost everyday? I swear it's true. Music for Mushrooms is a 5-hour playlist created by the artist East Forest. The playlist was created specifically for a psilocybin (mushroom) experience, which generally lasts up to 6 hours. In fact, the entire playlist was recorded live by East Forest while guiding a group in a psilocybin ceremony. The music is ambient, naturesque, and filled with gentle non-lyrical vocals. If you were looking for a playlist to listen to while engaging in deep work, I can't recommend this enough.

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Story of the week

The longest study on happiness conducted by Harvard -- that spanned 80 years -- has an interesting conclusion. To quote from an article on the study,

"Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes."

And that is what I keep realizing time and again. More specifically, I realized this intensely over the past 10 days.

I received some bad news on May 16th, which affected my mood intensely, on and off, for the past 10 days.

Specifically, on Monday of this week, I was feeling intensely gloomy in the evening, as I was wrapping up for the day. Generally, I head to the climbing gym when I'm done with work. However, on Monday, I just couldn't.

For a while, I was simply walking the streets of downtown Oakland with my e-scooter. A few thoughts raced through my mind,

Ugh, I don't feel like going to the gym. I just want to go home. [Pause] Maybe I could get some food on the way? What do I want? [Sigh] I'm feeling really sad... and I don't quite know where to go now. [Pause] If I could just turn off my brain for a while...

Amidst all these voices, there was a quieter voice that knew what I really needed.

I want to be around people and good conversations right now. That's all.

In the end, I ended up buying food and went home to spend a few hours in bed, watching something entertaining to take my mind off of what happened.

A few hours in, I knew it was not really helping.

Thankfully, a close friend of mine called just then. I spoke to them for a while. Post speaking, I forced myself to go to the common area in my intentional community, and ended up playing board games with a few roommates.

It helped, as it always does.

The habit that has been the hardest to unlearn so far is the habit of going into an inward shell when something bad happens.

Because that's when I know I need help, support, and connection from people the most. Ironically, that's also when it gets really hard to ask for help.

So in a way, the past 10 days, although awful, have taught me a crucial lesson: to ask for help and let people be there when I need them.

And, they have also shown me the importance of a few people in my life who were there for me. <3

Does any of this resonate with you, Reader? I'm curious how you react in situations when you need help, but feel awkward/hesitant in asking for it.

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That's it for now, Reader :)

I'm planning to launch the newsletter reward program next week to a small beta group first -- those who have been most active so far in opening emails, responding thoughtfully, and forwarding it to friends. If that's you, watch out for an email next week!

As always, it helps immensely when you share this with your friends.

Thank you for reading till here. Sending you my best for a lovely weekend ahead!

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Yours truly,

Soundarya Balasubramani 💚

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Some links above are affiliate links, which just means I get some reward for recommending a cool product to cool people like you.

Quote of the week: People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

- Theodore Roosevelt

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